Digging Elephant Ears

There is a quarter-mile of Elephant Ear patches on one of my local highways. I'd been eyeing these for days. Finally, I convinced my digging daylilies buddy (http://gardeningalabama.blogspot.com/2011/07/digging-daylilies.html) to go with me. Our escapade took all of five minutes as these beauties were growing very near a stream and were a breeze to extract.

Now I have two new Elephant Ear patches in my garden and one in a pot for use later. YAY!

Hedge Trimmers Part Deux

Second time's a charm. We upgraded to the Black and Decker Hardened Steel Electric Hedge Trimmer. What a difference. Not having a battery reduced the weight and for nearly half the price, I more than tripled the power. I had my hedges tamed in about an hour.

Hedge Trimmers

I convinced the DH to invest in a cordless hedge trimmer, thinking it would make my life easier. So we bought the Black & Decker 2-in-1 Garden Shear Combo:

http://www.blackanddecker.com/outdoor/GSN35.aspx

What a colossal waste of time and money! If I were simply looking to chop off the tops of our Bahia grass, then this would be ideal. But trim hedges, this tool does not. Not even delicate new growth on boxwood. Seriously, how is this product still on the market?!?

It's marketed to women and the elderly. No offense, but that should have been my first clue. I give them props on it being lightweight as advertised. But if my three and a half year old son can manage it, then it's probably not the right tool to be in my shed.

So it's back to the drawing board. I'll probably end up getting some chain saw type concoction that will intimidate me, thereby using my lady parts to sweet talk my husband into taking over the hedges.




(***OMG I can't believe I just typed that. Thinking it is one thing...but actually typing it? I've been reading too much Erica Shickel!***)

Garden Therapy

Little is as relaxing as working in the yard on a cool morning. I felt energized all day.

Loss

One of our neighborhood fawns was found dead on my neighbor's lawn this afternoon. We're guessing it was sick and separated from the pack. I spotted the Mom in the area twice today. I guess she was checking on her baby.

God and St. Francis Discuss Lawns

Here is a joke we shared in MG class. When I showed it to the DH last night, he could not stop laughing. We ARE Suburbanites!

GOD AND ST. FRANCIS DISCUSSING LAWNS

GOD: Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.

ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's tempermental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it-sometimes twice a week.

GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS: No Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

GOD: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir.

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.

ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

GOD: Enough. I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have they scheduled for us tonight?"

ST. CATHERINE: "Dumb and Dumber", Lord. It's a really stupid movie about.....

GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

http://www.comptechdoc.org/humor/garden/